Worldwide Capital Strategic Insight
Okay, let's be real. Is anyone *actually* surprised that something else in the tech world is imploding? Between Fortnite's live event turning into a lag-fest and Bitcoin taking another nosedive, it feels like 2025 is shaping up to be the year tech just… gives up.
Crypto Crash: Oh No! Anyway...
Crypto's December Disaster
So, Bitcoin's down 3% in an hour? Ethereum's even worse at 4.5%? Oh no! Anyway. Look, I'm not a financial advisor, and I wouldn't touch crypto with a ten-foot pole. It's basically digital gambling, and anyone who acts shocked when their "investment" goes belly up is delusional.
"$400,000,000 longs were liquidated in the last hour," someone tweeted. Translation: a bunch of people lost a ton of money betting on pretend internet coins. My heart bleeds.
And some genius on X added, "Not sure who needs to hear this, but crypto is going to zero rn." Well, duh.
The *reason* behind the crash is unknown, they say. Right. Maybe it's because the whole thing is built on hype and speculation? Maybe it's because it's about as stable as a Jenga tower in an earthquake. Or maybe... nah, it's probably just gremlins.
"It’s a risk off start to December," says some "APAC derivatives trading lead" (whatever *that* is). He's worried about "meagre inflows into Bitcoin exchange traded funds and absence of dip buyers." Translation: not enough suckers are buying the dip to keep the pyramid scheme afloat. ‘Why is Bitcoin, crypto down?’: Panic after sudden crash; ‘risky start to December’
But hey, at least Trump's picking a new Fed chair. Because *that's* going to fix everything. (Spoiler alert: it won't). What's the over/under on how long it takes for *that* appointment to turn into a complete circus?
Fortnite Crashes? Get Over Yourselves.
Fortnite's Epic Fail... Again
Meanwhile, over in the world of digital escapism, Fortnite's live event crashed. Again. People are actually upset about this? I mean, come on. It's a free-to-play game for kids. Did you *really* expect it to run flawlessly?
"Fortnite crash #fortnite #CRASH #fortnitecrash server down," someone whined on X. Oh, the humanity!
"Most of us experinced the live event crash at the same time. What's going on?!" Another person asked. What's going on? Epic Games is raking in billions selling digital skins to twelve-year-olds, that's what's going on. They can't be bothered to make sure their servers can handle a few extra concurrent users.
Apparently, the fix is to "restart your Fortnite client and re-queue." Revolutionary.
Here's a thought: maybe instead of spending hours glued to a screen watching a virtual event, these people could go outside and, I don't know, interact with actual human beings? But what do I know?
Oh, and speaking of things crashing, some drunk tech bro in Pune, India, drove his car into a restaurant valet, killing the poor guy. Consumed ONE beer, they say. Sure, Jan. This is a bad idea. No, 'bad' doesn't cover it—this is a five-alarm dumpster fire. Techie rams car into parking counter of Kalyaninagar restaurant, kills attendant
Tech's "Innovation": A Race to the Bottom, Ain't It?
The Underlying Rot
All of this points to something deeper. A rot at the core of the tech industry. It's all about hype, greed, and cutting corners. Innovation? Nah. Meaningful progress? Forget about it. It's just a race to the bottom, fueled by venture capital and the desperate desire to be the next unicorn.
And the worst part? People keep falling for it. They keep throwing money at crypto scams, they keep obsessing over vapid video games, and they keep enabling the tech overlords who are actively making the world a worse place.
But hey, maybe I'm just an old cynic yelling at clouds. Maybe this is all perfectly normal and I'm the crazy one. Maybe I should just shut up and buy some Dogecoin. Nah.
This Whole Thing is a Joke
